Underlying Issues Series
My name is Matt Salis, and I am a recovered alcoholic. Yes, I use the past tense to describe my resurrection from from the pit of alcoholic despair. That is a major no-no in traditional sects of the recovery world where it is believed that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, and recovery is a lifelong journey. My hatred for the word “journey” is enough reason for me to squirm away from the idea that recovery is perpetual. Don’t get me wrong – I am under no misconception that I can ever successfully moderate my alcohol consumption (I am 100% confident that I can never drink again), but the fact that I don’t ever even think about drinking alcohol anymore makes the present tense grammatically incorrect. I played basketball as a kid growing up, too, but I don’t call myself a recovering basketball player.
Just because alcohol is in my past doesn’t mean the problems that made me drink are solved. I turned to alcohol as a maladaptive coping mechanism for a variety of reasons. Leading my pack of underlying issues is the alpha dog I call Chaotic Mind Syndrome (see how I capitalize that like it’s a real thing – check the DSM and you’ll find my ego is the only thing that occasionally deserves all-caps).
My brain does not stop. One minute I can be trying to figure out how I’ll ever afford a flying car, and the next I’ll be dreaming about raising a bobcat like a house pet. I am exhausted just thinking about my thinking. I have never suffered sexual abuse or major childhood trauma, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to self-medicate. As soon as I learned that alcohol would stifle my gray matter, I was was hooked.
So now I am years past alcoholism, and my Chaotic Mind Syndrome runs amuck with only organic stifling like getting out in nature, exercise, eating unprocessed foods, prioritizing sleep, vulnerability and authenticity. And when all of those don’t work, I still occasionally take down a family-sized bag of Doritos or eat a half-gallon of coffee mocha chip. But mostly, I write to deal with my underlying issues that will nag me to my grave.
I’m no longer an alcoholic, but like all of us, I have underlying issues that pester me relentlessly. The “Underlying Issues Series” is my way of dealing with humanity – mine and that of the oft-annoying humans around me.
If you are rounding the corner of leaving alcohol well behind, or if you are the loved one of someone who drinks too much, maybe you will find something in the “Underlying Issues Series” to which you can relate or that helps you understand. If you are newer to sobriety and recovery, however, Sober and Unashamed has a ton of resources for you. Have you taken my “Drinking Status Survey?” Have you read about my active addiction or early recovery? If the “Underlying Issues Series” isn’t what you need, I hope you’ll read my story below as a starter, and explore the hundreds of blog posts from dozens of writers just trying to figure this out together. And if you are more of a listener, rather than reader, please check out our Untoxicated Podcast.
The First Time I Quit Drinking Alcohol
The Second Time I Quit Drinking Alcohol
The Third Time I Quit Drinking Alcohol