Evolution Series: You Deserve…

You Deserve

Dear friend,


You deserve to be loved.

You deserve to be respected.


You deserve peace, joy, and security.

You deserve moments of pleasure, ecstasy, and warmth.


Our friendship has been hard lately.

I’ve watched you struggle and fall apart.


I gave you space when you pushed me away.

I sat on your bed and spoke strength and love to your soul.

I’ve weeded your garden, poured into your children.

And again now I step back…because it has to be you.


You have to decide that you are deserving.

I wish I could do it for you.


I have given you every piece of wisdom.

Wisdom hard earned.

And now I watch you ignore it all and lose yourself.

Over and over again.

To a man who runs from his responsibility.

Chases everything you cannot give him.

I’ve watched you attempt to fit into the ever changing expectations

….he will never be satisfied.


He has told you the marriage will never work.

As long as I am your friend.

The gut punch knowing you will choose him.


You lied to me last night.

You canceled our plans to appease his control

….but you made an excuse, like I haven’t been here

….like I don’t know this place.


Watching you try to control it all.

Accept the unacceptable.


Change the locks then hand him the key.


No one deserves to be treated this way.

Manipulated, abused, controlled, broken down.


You deserve so much more.

And so did I.


I wish all this painful wisdom made a difference…

Echoes of Recovery

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February 6, 2019
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August 24, 2022
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May 4, 2022
1 Comment
  • Reply
    Esther Nagle
    September 3, 2023 at 10:09 am

    oh my goodness. This hit hard. I’ve been that friend. I did manage to leave eventually, and have finally escaped the control, but it’s so hard. And I know too how hard it is to be on the side watching a friend you love let someone control and destroy their life. I hope your friend is able to find the strength they need soon.

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