Tag: courage

Evolution Series: Is This Emotional Abuse?

Learning About My Trauma by Helping Others

I opened the door and saw Javier, the sixteen-year-old son of one of our tenants, standing on my doorstep. His was not a face I expected to see, but I was fond of his family, and he looked distressed. I asked him if he wanted to come in and talk. He was breathing hard as he perched on the sofa. Javi told me, his face reddening, that his dad had started hitting his little sisters. “I could put up with it when it was just me. But them? No. I can’t stand it.” He knew I was a lawyer (though unbeknownst to this desperate kid, I hadn’t practiced in years, and never in family law). He’d come to me to understand his options for getting his dad out of the house. He even brought evidence in the form of cellphone videos of his dad’s violence he had bravely recorded inside the apartment. What would happen if he called CPS, he wondered. 

 

A couple of hours later, I reluctantly sent Javi home, breathed a big sigh, and opened my laptop to do some research. This was my first (and hopefully last) time being the trusted adult a kid came to with a big problem, and I was determined not to let him, his mom and his sisters down.

I Know Your Secret

I Know Your Secret

I know your secret.

 

At least, I know that it is one of a handful of possibilities that my wife and I have either lived through ourselves, or witnessed dozens (maybe hundreds) of time with others.

 

What would happen if you told you secret?

 

I can all but guarantee that your worst fear would never come true. They aren’t going to shame you or reject you or fire you or turn their backs on you.

Evolution Series: The Beast

The Beast

For a long time, I couldn’t silence the screaming in my head.

It wailed day and night, night and day.

Years passed while it ranted and raved, quieting occasionally in slumber.

After a while, I wrestled that wraith into a box where it remained my captive.

Its muffled screams blending into the soundscape – white noise humming and buzzing at the periphery of my mind like the foggy mist of last night’s dream.

One day, a maelstrom came along and unleashed The Beast.

Evolution Series: I Am Worthy

I Am Worthy

Writing about my value and worth is much more difficult than noting what I don’t deserve. It’s easy for me to be hard on myself.

 

But, I can list a number of tangible things that I’m proud of: my daughter, that I bought a house at age 27, my career, a published paper, helping my sister financially through vet school and her wedding. These tangibles are the outcomes of the intangibles.

 

The intangibles are what is important. The intangibles are the things I want to model for my daughter.