Tag: Sober Pride

It Won’t Matter

Alcoholism, Recovery By Matt Salis, MPS 2 Comments

It Won't Matter

Audio version now available.

 

I wish I could deliver a message to my younger self. Many messages, really, to many earlier versions of me. Like that the penis my college friends drew on my forehead with permanent marker when I passed out would not, in fact, impact the rest of my life. Or that leaving my sales-manager job at a steel company that was for sale upgrading to a steel company that later declared bankruptcy was not, actually, the stupidest move ever. Or even more recently, that the knee injury I suffered playing soccer last summer was not the end, and that I was not yet relegated to the chair workouts Instagram feels are age appropriate.

 

Those tips would have been useful. But in mid-March 2026, I am thinking about the advice I would give a late 20-teens version of me about Saint Patrick’s Day.

Dance Like Everybody’s Watching

Alcoholism, Recovery, Self-Esteem By Matt Salis, MPS 8 Comments

Dance Like Everybody's Watching

Audio version now available.

 

Confidence comes from doing the things that require a little liquid courage without the liquid courage.

 

***

 

How do you know if you need a few drinks to talk to women when every time you are in a situation conducive to initiating a conversation with the opposite sex that situation carries with it an expectation of alcohol consumption? I don’t remember needing liquid courage when I was a drinker, but I also don’t remember socializing sober.

Momentum

Alcoholism, Recovery By Matt Salis, MPS 8 Comments

Momentum

Audio version now available.

 

If I parallel park my manual transmission Jeep on a hill, I turn the wheel so that one of the front tires is digging into the curb. I was taught this maneuver as a teenager so that if the parking brake fails, and it pops out of first gear, the curb will keep the vehicle from rolling down the hill.

 

If I don’t turn the wheel, and in the unlikely event that both the parking brake and transmission fail and the Jeep starts rolling, five miles per hour is plenty of speed to send the vehicle careening over the same curb, doing thousands of dollars of damage and potentially injuring or killing someone.

 

My Jeep weighs two tons. Stationary, the curb is strong enough to hold it. With just a little momentum, however, the curb is no match.

 

I often find myself in an “inspiration” loop in a social media algorithm. I have recently heard Tom Brady, Jerry Seinfeld, Kobe Bryant, Warren Buffett and Roger Federer independently deliver the exact same message about momentum. Success is not derived from talent. It is derived from commitment, persistence, dedication and hard work. These legends in their fields aren’t better than their competition. They are just better at maintaining momentum.

Euphoria, Unintoxicated

Alcoholism, Recovery By Matt Salis, MPS 6 Comments

Euphoria, Unintoxicated

I was leaning in toward her, trying to hear her next words just slightly sooner than the rest of her audience. I was mesmerized by the story to the degree that I was losing awareness of some of my physical presence. I didn’t notice that my jaw had dropped and my mouth was hanging open like a baby waiting for someone to insert a spoonful of pureed carrots. Have you ever heard a TV advertisement for the monster truck rally at the fairgrounds next, “Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!”? The part where the pitch-man bellows, “We’ll sell you the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge!”? That was me. Mouth agape, surely drooling a little, butt cheeks barely hanging onto the front half-inch off my chair, and astonishment coursing through my body.

 

It’s not that her story was so captivating that I had never heard anything quite like it before. I had. I hear lots of unspeakable tales. It was that she was telling the story. Her. She had come to our little writing workshop every Thursday for months. She always wrote, but only read on occasion. Usually, she shared something that felt like the tip of the iceberg. Like she wasn’t sure if she could trust us with what was below the surface. I’m not sure she’d trusted anyone ever. At least not since someone ruined it for all of us – proving the human species so untrustworthy that she’d chosen never to trust again.

Overwhelming Stupidity

Alcoholism, Recovery, Sobriety By Matt Salis, MPS 4 Comments

Overwhelming Stupidity

I was blown off by a high school principal for a Monday morning meeting. It was work related and had nothing to do with my kids. She requested the meeting. It was based on her calendar availability, but she was too busy (forgetful?) to show up.

 

My wife had a very empathetic and meaningful conversation with a friend about the anxiety of trying to maintain a busy family with a busy work schedule. Then her friend proceeded to drink wine enthusiastically, not making the connection between alcohol and the nervous system.

 

Major League Baseball instituted some drastic new rules this year to speed up the games. Now many ball clubs, including our Colorado Rockies, are cutting off beer sales in the eighth inning instead of the traditional last call in the seventh because their revenue from alcohol sales is down. Wait a minute. Wasn’t the three-inning pause designed to give people time to sober up before driving home? Now the innings are faster, and people get fewer of them to dry out?

 

There is a curse that goes along with the blessings of sobriety. I can’t unsee the stupidity all around me. I used to be able to drink the ridiculous away. In fact, I used to contribute mightily to the lunacy. So when you keep drinking to fit in and be one of the crowd – when you decide your drinking is not a problem because everyone else is drinking like you – there is one massive problem with that justification.

 

Everyone is pretty dumb.

What if Everyone had Known?

Alcoholism, Recovery By Matt Salis, MPS 6 Comments

What if everyone had known?

What if everyone had known everything right from the beginning? What if my dirty little secrets, that started as rare indiscretions or occasional overindulgences, were on display for all to see? What if the progression of my drinking, and the progression of my moodiness, anxiety, irrationality and depression, were plastered on the outside, instead of insidiously roiling on the inside?

 

What if there were no secrets? Only increasingly despicable truths. Truths everyone knew. What then?

 

I would have gotten sober a lot sooner, that’s what. I never would have crossed that invisible line into addiction. It would not have been easy, but the truth sure would have made the decision simple.

The Antidote to Alcohol

Alcohol, Alcoholism, Self-Esteem By Matt Salis, MPS No Comments

The Antidote to Alcohol

“Antidote” – Definition, Merriam-Webster: a remedy to counteract the effects of poison

 

There is no arguing that alcohol is a poison. You can claim that the key is moderation, or that when consumed responsibly, alcohol can enhance your life. The science and medical communities are slowly uniting around the fact that there is no safe amount of alcohol for human consumption. So, it’s a poison with a toxic impact on our neurology and biology. If you can accept that fact, I hope you’ll keep reading. If not, nothing else I have to say is going to reach you.

 

I’ve been studying alcohol and alcoholism for over six years now. If you include my own personal first and second hand research, I am in my fifth decade of alcohol, and its impact, taking a high priority in my life. After all that time, all the reading, all the watching and listening, all the stories, all the successes and all the failures I have experienced and witnessed, I am absolutely convinced of one thing:

I’m Awfully Proud of That

Alcoholism, Sobriety, Unashamed By Matt Salis, MPS 8 Comments

I'm Awfully Proud of That

“You’re awful proud of yourself,” he scoffed. “I’ll save a seat for you at a meeting for when you relapse.” I’d just met this AA lifer at a church service that catered to people suffering from addiction. He had asked me how I got sober. When I told him Alcoholics Anonymous wasn’t part of my solution, I guess he didn’t like my answer.

 

I couldn’t possibly count the number of times I’ve heard that pride leads to relapse. From the best I can surmise, the idea that “pride is dangerous” is a foundational tenet of twelve-step philosophy. There’s just one problem.

 

The concept is total bullshit.